|
|
Monday, September 11th, 2006
| |
3:38 pm
|
well, I haven't written anything here in over a year.
All said, it's been a good year. In the last few days, a lot of that has collapsed. Still, I think that a great deal of change is on the way, and whether for good or ill, I'll do my best to face it with my head held high. Sometimes feeling the vastness of the world is a source of both fear and hope.
I'm slowly working on building my own web site for freelance work, and I've started a blog there. It will most likely remain focused on my professional interests, not so much the personal ones. You can get in touch with me there -- I think I'll be looking to archive the ol' LJ and officially leave it behind. In the apprehensive words of a young Billie Joe, it's real and it's been fun.
It's difficult to see all of this 9/11 stuff on TV when I'm already kinda depressed. I guess we all have times when it seems like clairvoyance is needed to think of new beginnings.
current mood:  crushed
current music: history channel
|
|
(1 worry for another day | let the music play)
|
| Thursday, August 11th, 2005
| |
3:31 pm - sunset from the ponte vecchio
|
ahh florence.
clicky to see what I've put on flickr from italy.
we're in sorrento now, visited positano yesterday and pompeii today.
more beach tomorrow, then back to rome for a couple of days before flying home.
|
|
(let the music play)
|
| Friday, August 5th, 2005
| |
12:22 pm - buongiorno
|
I'm sitting in an internet café in venice.
it's our second day here after 3 days in Rome, and though it's a sleepier town, it's a hell of a lot cheaper. I haven't found a way to get any pictures online yet, but rest assured, there will be lots. we flew here in first class. buddy passes rule.
we're looking for hostel information so i'll probably get back to that pretty shortly since time is money... we should be taking a train to florence in the morning, and after that to sorrento to check out capri and pompei.
we jammed a lot into 3 days in rome; I would have liked to see a little more art, otherwise I'm satisfied. we celebrated our arrival and shira's birthday by drinking heavily and staying out late, meaning we spent a lot of money and slept too late to get to many museums and churches. donna drove us nuts and drank bottle after bottle of wine, leading to 100 euro lunch bills more than once. now that we've parted ways and she's gone to france, we have a lot more freedom and can spend a lot less money.
|
|
(let the music play)
|
| Monday, July 4th, 2005
| |
1:16 am - "Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgiastic future that year by year recedes before us..."
|
"It eluded us then, but that's no matter--tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther..."
The last week or so has brought upheaval to the world of ches.
Last saturday Hunter and I were fired from Cherry. I've never been fired before, and it was pretty liberating given the stupidity of the situation. We had a big thug party on friday and left the restaurant at 4:30 in the morning, so we were all at the pool the next day having a nice, relaxing time and Hunter decided to call Timm and ask if the two of us could come in at 5:00 instead of 4:00, since saturdays are slow to start and we worked so late the night before. Timm said no, he was working to clean the place up. So we came in on time and started doing some of the bullshit labor that always has to be done after these parties because Timm won't pay anyone to do it. Timm was in a pissy mood and I guess Hunter and I were both being smart asses and didn't help the situation. I'd say that the two of us voluntarily take on more extra responsibilities with no form of compensation than anyone else who works there, so neither of us was particularly interested in moving tables and doing other such crappy tasks for $2 an hour that day. I told Timm precisely that. I thoroughly cleaned and closed down my bar the night before, and that is the scope of my duties as far as I'm concerned. I've done the next-day-clean-up enough times now, I'm burnt out, let the new people have at it. So Hunter and I sat down to eat food we ordered from Charlie G's after a bit of choring, and Timm saw us and bitched at us. So we did a few more things that he asked us to do, and sat down again to eat. This time when he saw us, he decided to tell us to go home, we were fired. I laughed and said, "Ok thanks, I'm going back to the pool, peace," and we went to Charlie G's to finish our food and have a beer.
So I'm unemployed. I've looked around a bit and I have a job if I want it at Tijuana Garage, but I don't really think they're making any money over there so I told them I was still looking and would let them know something this week. If anyone knows of a decent place where I can get a bartending job, drop a bro a line. A neighborhood pub type of place with a steady crowd would be great.
My rent's paid and all, I'm not stressing the loss of employment and I should have left Cherry long ago, but looking for a job always sucks.
Here's my Wind-Up Bird Chronicle-inspired tattoo that I got a few days before I got fired.
As usual the picture sucks because I had only momentary access to a decent digital camera. Speaking of which...
I might have an opportunity to go to Italy and Greece for 11 days or so at the beginning of august. I say "might" because I was invited by my friend Erin who can get buddy passes for the flight, but after I told her I'd have to think about the logistics and called her back to say I wanted to do it, she called me back and said that Donna, whom I stayed with in NY in march, wanted it to just be a girls' trip, yadda yadda yadda. So I was slightly insulted, irritated at Donna for being a self-centered princess, and irritated that I spent an extra $60 for expedited passport service when I'm jobless. Then Shira talked to me and said that Donna had tried to be controlling since she was first invited (Shira and Erin were originally planning the trip for Shira's birthday) and apologized profusely just as Erin had. I told them it wasn't their place to apologize and Shira said she'd try talking to Donna and that they wanted me to go. So we'll see. I'd love to go, but I'm not interested in being at the center of stupid drama.
Since the two people he was closest to at Cherry were fired in one fell swoop, my roommate Jeff has decided he's pretty damn sick of doing the bullshit that Timm subjects him to as well, and he's ready to carry the banner leading the trip to Thailand that I've been wanting to take for the last year. So if I can secure a decent job to save a little money in the next few months, that might finally become reality. I've got to make it happen somehow, because I'm wasting far too much time out of school and that trip has been the supposed reason.
I've been at home in Rome since Saturday afternoon and will be heading back to the ATL tomorrow. Cook out/booze-swilling at my house all day for the 4th. Call me.
current mood: mutable and kerouac-ky
current music: Calexico - A Feast of Wire - 01 - Sunken Waltz
|
|
(4 worries for another day | let the music play)
|
| Wednesday, June 1st, 2005
| |
2:29 am - conversation with janus
|
I've got a lot of time off this week and I've got to find something good to do with the rest of it. I really should just go home and see my family that I rarely see, but I've been in a major rut lately and I'm feeling like something more spontaneous could help change my frame of mind. There's no one that could just take off with me anywhere though. Today I did laundry. Tomorrow, haircut and bank. The agenda is pretty wide open.
I want to get tattooed but I don't have inspiration for what to get.
We need to sign a new lease and our A/C is broken. we never see our landlords.
Lack of intellectual stimulation is beginning to madden me. I wish I could find direction for the curiosity.
friendships can form your foundation and they can crush you.
current mood: empty
current music: Armor for Sleep - Dream to Make-Believe
|
|
(let the music play)
|
| Thursday, May 5th, 2005
| |
12:07 pm - dance dance dance
|
I finished Dance Dance Dance a few days ago. That's probably like my fifth haruki murakami novel in a row. Now I've started Norwegian Wood -- more murakami -- and Tastes of Paradise: A Social History of Spices, Stimulants and Intoxicants.
"Dance...Yougottadance. Aslongasthemusicplays. Yougotta dance. Don'teventhinkwhy. Starttothink, yourfeetstop. Yourfeetstop, wegetstuck. Wegetstuck, you'restuck. Sodon'tpayanymind, nomatterhowdumb. Yougottakeepthestep. Yougottalimberup. Yougottaloosenwhatyoubolteddown. Yougottauseallyougot. Weknowyou'retired, tiredandscared. Happenstoeveryone, okay? Justdon'tletyourfeetstop... Dancingiseverything... Danceintip-topform. Dancesoitallkeepsspinning." -- Sage words of Sheep Man zen
so I woke up at 8 a.m. this morning still slightly drunk, and I couldn't go back to sleep. boy is that a wonderful feeling. I didn't get especially hammered last night, but I realized as I was out that I felt shitty because all I'd eaten all day was soup.
so I just played drums in my underwear. still can't sleep.
work last night was worthless. I had like 3 people at the bar all night. literally. everything was clean for a change though so at least I could read a book (Brautigan's Trout Fishing in America -- great ches, start three books at a time...) instead of heeding my obsessive-compulsive need to work.
both of the bartenders who've been there longer than me were out of town last weekend so I got main bar friday and saturday so I had a good weekend. I needed it. that place has been frustrating the hell out of me. so I had a good weekend and got a $700 tax return, but then I got my attorney bill for $3000, car bill for $1300, and I just wrote a rent check. fuck.
so last week I was dancing with some friends and I end up sort of dancing with this cute girl. she comes up to me later and initiates a conversation, nice girl, seems into it, whatever. I put my number in her phone but I couldn't call myself and save hers because I was underground and had no service. so I ask for her number, she says "I'll call you." Um, ok, *you* came up to *me* in the first place... So I see her again last night (never got that call) and it's the same deal. Dance, talk a little, nice time. Get ready to go, "So can I call you this time?" She says she'll call me.
bitches.
current mood:  groggy
current music: The Haunted - One Kill Wonder - 06 - Demon Eyes
|
|
(1 worry for another day | let the music play)
|
| Wednesday, April 13th, 2005
| |
4:36 pm - WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
|
At 8:00 a.m. this morning in the case of the State of Georgia vs. Chesley D. Martin, the State's case was dismissed. This is the first time any legal matters have ever gone remotely in my way, and boy am I glad for the karma payment.
My taxes are done too. My foul disposition of late might just take an upswing.
Show tonight: twilight of idols / if hope dies / the red chord / a life once lost @ swayze's. haven't been to a show in awhile; it'll be good to see some kids and feel free of burdens.
current mood:  jubilant
current music: Taking Back Sunday - Great Romances of the 20th Century
|
|
(1 worry for another day | let the music play)
|
| Wednesday, April 6th, 2005
| |
9:48 pm - an essay in self-loathing
|
I can't possibly update this thing with everything significant that's happened since my last entry. I'll guess I'll shoot for some highlights (and low-lites...).
Everything kind of sucks lately.
That being the case, I just up and went to NYC for my spring break. by myself. I stayed with Donna, whom I used to work with. she's rad for letting me freeload and chaperoning me. I've seen most of the touristy stuff in the city before so I kinda just hung out for a few days. no itinerary for me. the weather was miserable, but the trip was great. nothing opulent, just the getaway I needed. I finally got around to getting photos online today -- actually took about 10 seconds once I found a quick tool for gallery creation. I borrowed the digital camera that my roommate gave to his girlfriend for Christmas, and it ate batteries every 10 minutes and took crappy pictures so I really didn't use it much. Some of what's online are terrible shots, I just never felt like deleting 'em before I moved them to the PC.
Just clicky on that one to see the rest.
I got arrested in December. That was fun. I had court today but the scheduled judge wasn't there and the fill-in apparently didn't have jurisdiction to try my case, so another 6 a.m. day for me next Wednesday.
Work is slow. The owners are cool, it's generally an easy place to work, but I need to make more money soon or find another job.
I dropped my classes again. I am the scourge of the earth.
I've been dogsitting for the last two weeks. She's been good, but today I came home to a roll of toilet paper destroyed all over the living room, and then she got out of the back yard and ran around the neighborhood until luckily a neighbor got her in. it's just not my day.
I hate women. I don't even like myself all that much right now.
current mood: hopeless
current music: Tomahawk - Mit Gas (Advance) - 08 - When the Stars Begin to Fall
|
|
(3 worries for another day | let the music play)
|
| Thursday, December 2nd, 2004
| |
11:48 pm - oh yeah
|
I typed this up while I was at home for Thanksgiving and not connected to the Internet. I have a lot of other stuff to talk about, but I don't want to right now, because it sucks.
Well, it's Thanksgiving Day, 2004, and it's my first trip home in a good while. I've been cleaning out my closet, trying to get some things out of my parents' way since I live in a house and don't come home that much. I do this sort of thing a lot when I come home, but this has been the most thorough and the most emotionally intense. My heart has swelled so much at the things I've found, I'm starting to wonder when the last time was that I had a truly emotional experience. My life is stoical.
I've been working too much and not stopping to connect with people on a personal level. I'm amazed at the lengths that some people go to do just that; with some, it's creepy, but sometimes it is acutely humbling. Early on in high school I had a crush on Anna-Ward Martens, and I just found a valentine that I received from her probably in 8th grade. This was nothing particularly special, she's just one of those people that brings something for everyone, but in her case it WAS special. Her congeniality was never sugar-coated and false. You knew that every smile she flashed at you and everyone else was genuine. An angelic soul. But this is not a lament for my unrequited love for Anna-Ward. It is simply a nostalgic recollection, sentimental to me uniquely, yet on another level a more global reminder of what humanity is capable of. Etymologically, "capability" closely relates to "capacity," the former usually bearing open-ended connotations and the latter being thought of more in terms of limits. Anna-Ward is one of those people in life that makes you rethink limits. An athlete's "capacity" for performance may improve every day, but in the case of care and human interest, her limits are immeasurable and infinitely more inspiring.
I also have a post card from Anna-Ward's mother, sent after she chaperoned a school field trip and was the leader of my group for the trip's activities. It's great to see such qualities carried on generationally. I went to a private high school: these people are affluent. Yet, their spirits are absolutely untainted.
One dig through an old stack of cards can bring up so many fond memories. I wonder where these people are now? I have theatre programs from performances by people who used to be some of my best friends. Some of them I've barely spoken to since graduation, if at all. The programs and the well wishes of their parents and friends still leave me feeling proud of them. I want to sit down and spend a day going through all this shit with someone who would actually appreciate a fair amount of it.
I now have inspiration to buy Christmas cards.
Hedgehog's Dilemma
current mood: ashamed
current music: nothing
|
|
(3 worries for another day | let the music play)
|
| Tuesday, November 2nd, 2004
| |
6:11 pm - some hint of seasonal change
|
there was a show worth seeing just about every night last week. because of work and money, I only went to two of them, but I was happy about that.
monday night was crimescene, remembering never, terror, the black dahlia murder and unearth. crimescene are locals. go locals. remembering never sucks. terror, well, they're terror. their music can be pounded into your head relentlessly and you'll still enjoy it. there's something of a classic, no-frills-no-bullshit hardcore sound in it that doesn't get stale. I was thoroughly impressed with the black dahlia murder. good metal, talented drummer, and nice, laid back guys. eye-opening live performance. unearth was unearth, and that was good. the show on the whole was pretty much what I expected (with BDM being the surprise), but I have no complaints about that. metal-some monday afterward. hah.
tuesday was every time i die and the dillinger escape plan. somehow I've never seen ETID live, and their performance was impressive. I think they sounded better at the masquerade than in any of their recordings that I have. dillinger was awesome as always. less of a light show than last time they were here, but hearing some of the new songs now that the album is out easily made up for stage production.
I haven't been to many shows in recent months, so taking a few nights off for some scene spectating was good fun.
I worked all weekend, but still managed to do some halloween partying. there were a shitload of people at my friends' loft complex saturday night. I'll try to get hold of some pictures. we had a party at our house sunday night. Jeff and I worked on saturday, so trying to guess what the other found time to buy during the day resulted in a scatterbrained alcohol selection, but we made do I think. People came and went at odd times, Jeff got sick and passed out early, and I was too tired to be much of a host, so I don't guess it was an outstanding party, but I had fun.
I worked a double on monday. after the weekend I had, that really sucked. so last night I finally got more than 5 hours sleep for the first time in days. Jeff is still sick, so our house is still a wreck from sunday. ah, fall is good.
current mood:  complacent
current music: Cowboy Bebop - Bad Dog No Biscuits
|
|
(let the music play)
|
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
chesbored's journal
